THANKFUL THURSDAY

MONDAY AFTER WORK..WE WERE HEADING TO SCOTT'S PARENTS FOR DINNER.....I ALWAYS LIKE IT WHEN SCOTT GOES A CERTAIN WAY ON THE WAY HOME...SO THAT WE CAN SWING BY OUR MAIL BOX AND GRAB OUR MAIL ON THE WAY TO THEIR HOUSE...THIS PAST MONDAY I WAS SOOOOO, SURPRISED WHEN SCOTT HANDED ME THE MAIL AND A LIL' PACKAGE WAS ADDRESSED TO ME SITTING RIGHT ON TOP..I LOOKED TO SEE WHO IT WAS FROM AND IMMEDIATELY SMILED..IT WAS FROM MY DEAR FRIEND JAMIE , WHO IN JULY, HAD A BABY GIRL THAT WAS BORN AT 28 WEEKS...TL.. (THE BABY) WAS DIAGNOSED AT THE 16 WEEK ULTRASOUND APPOINTMENT AS HAVING "OLIGOHYDRAMNIOS"... AND WAS NOT EXPECTED TO SURVIVE...WELL, GOD SAW DIFFERENTLY FOR HER, DESPITE THE NEWS HER PARENTS WERE GIVEN BY THE DOCTORS, SHE DID SURVIVE... AND TODAY SHE IS A HEALTHY HAPPY BABY GIRL...THE MIRACLE BABY AS I LIKE TO CALL HER...THE LIL' SISTER OF TWO BIG BROTHERS WHO COULDN'T WAIT TO GET HER HOME....WITHOUT GOING TOO MUCH INTO HER PERSONAL STORY..I CAN SAY THAT I HAVE ONLY HAD THREE EXPERIENCES WHERE I HAVE ACTUALLY "FELT" GOD SPEAKING TO ME..LIKE YOU HEAR LOTS OF PEOPLE SAY.."I HEARD GOD SPEAK TO ME" .AND FOR ME IT WASN'T WHERE YOU ACTUALLY HEAR HIS VOICE..IT'S A FEELING IN MY BODY..HARD TO EXPLAIN, BUT I CAN COMPARE IT TO AN INNER FULL BODY CHILL WITH JUST THE WEIRDEST FEELING IN MY STOMACH...THE FIRST TIME WAS WHEN ANOTHER LIL' BOY WAS HAVING SURGERY AND HE FLAT LINED AND WAS EXPECTED TO DIE..I PRAYED AND PRAYED FOR GOD TO SPARE HIS LIFE...AND I PRAYED FOR A SIGN THAT I WOULD FEEL OKAY ABOUT IT AND KNOW THE LIL' BOY WOULD SURVIVE...AND IMMEDIATELY I HAD THAT FEELING THAT I MENTIONED ABOVE...THE OTHER TWO TIMES HAD TO DO WITH TL...I FELT IT FIRST WHEN SHE WAS STILL IN HER MAMA'S BELLY WHEN I PRAYED FOR HER ONE DAY...BUT, ON THE DAY THAT TL WAS BEING BORN...I SAT AT MY DESK AND PRAYED AND PRAYED...GOT UP AND WENT INTO THE BATHROOM AND PRAYED AND PRAYED..AND ASKED FOR THAT VERY SAME SIGN SO THAT I COULD RELAX AND KNOW THAT SHE WAS GOING TO BE BORN TO A MOMMY AND DADDY THAT SOOOO DESPERATELY WANTED HER..AND SURE ENOUGH...I HAD THE SAME FEELING...I CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW RELIEVED I WAS, BUT AT THE SAME TIME I STILL HAD FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN...WHICH I SHOULD HAVE NEVER DOUBTED WHAT GOD WAS SHOWING ME..BUT I GUESS WE ALL STUMBLE WITH THAT..IT'S SO HARD NOT TO HAVE FEAR WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BAD..ESPECIALLY, A LIFE!! ANYWAY, BACK TO MY PACKAGE...WHEN I OPENED IT..I WAS GIDDY...LIKE CHRISTMAS..AND OUT POPPED A FOLDED NOTE AND A SMALL HOT PINK BAG..I IMMEDIATELY RIPPED INTO THE LETTER TO READ IT AND THE TEARS BEGAN TO FILL MY EYES..IT WAS SUCH A SWEET LIL' LETTER THANKING ME FOR MY PRAYERS AND EXPLAINING HOW JAMIE WANTED SOMETHING TO SHOW  HER APPRECIATION...SHE CHOSE THIS BOBBY PIN BECAUSE THE VERY FIRST TIME SHE GOT TO HOLD TL, HER BANGS WERE IN HER FACE AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO PULL THEM BACK WITH..SO FROM THERE ON OUT, SHE WOULD ALWAYS KEEP A BOBBY PIN WITH HER...

SOMETHING SO SMALL...THAT NOW HAS SO MUCH MEANING TO ME..I USE TO CARRY A SMALL CROSS IN MY POCKETBOOK TO HELP WITH DAYS WHEN I HAVE ANXIETY...AND ALSO...JUST BECAUSE I LOVE SOME JESUS..AND I LOVE SOME CROSSES!! BUT RECENTLY I ATTENDED A WAKE FOR A THREE YEAR OLD LIL' GIRL THAT DIED OF CANCER... I DIDN'T PERSONALLY KNOW HER MOM... BUT I KNEW OF HER... AND WE BOTH WERE IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING OUR BABIES AT THE SAME TIME..SHE HAD HER LIL' GIRL THE DAY BEFORE I HAD MY TWINS...AND EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T "KNOW" HER THAT WELL, US BEING IN THE HOSPITAL AT THE SAME TIME REALLY MADE HER CHILD'S DEATH HIT ME PRETTY HARD..BECAUSE IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANY OF US GOING THRU WHAT SHE WAS GOING THRU...AND THE DEATH OF A CHILD IS SOMETHING I WISH NO PARENT WOULD EVER HAVE TO GO THRU....I CLEARLY REMEMBER HER BEING IN THE POSTPARTUM ROOM RIGHT BESIDE MINE..I REMEMBER PEOPLE THAT GO TO MY CHURCH  BEING UP THERE VISITING HER BECAUSE THEY WERE RELATED... AND THEM STICKING THEIR HEAD IN MY ROOM TO SAY "HEY"...SO WHEN I WENT TO THE WAKE THAT DAY, SCOTT SAT IN THE CAR WITH MY KIDS...I KNOW IN SOME CASES PEOPLE CANNOT HELP IT... BUT I'VE NEVER WANTED TO TAKE A CHILD INTO A FUNERAL HOME WHERE SOMEONE HAS LOST THEIR CHILD...AND AS BAD AS I DIDN'T WANT TO GO IN THERE BY MYSELF, I DEFINITELY KNEW HE NEEDED TO SIT WITH THE KIDS...I WAS DOING OKAY UNTIL IT WAS ALMOST MY TIME TO WALK AROUND THE CORNER WHERE SHE WOULD BE...THE CLOSER I WAS GETTING TO HER THE MORE NERVOUS I WAS GETTING..NOT KNOWING THE "RIGHT" WORDS TO SAY..BUT I DID KNOW THAT I FELT LED TO GIVE HER MY CROSS...IT HAD HELPED ME SO MUCH RECENTLY AND I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE IT...I DON'T REGRET GIVING IT TO HER AT ALL..EVEN THOUGH I HAD NEEDED IT TOO MYSELF..I KNEW EVENTUALLY I WOULD FIND ME SOMETHING ELSE TO REPLACE IT..BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO LOOK FAR.....

BECAUSE IT ARRIVED IN THE MAIL ON MONDAY...THANKS MY FRIEND!!